I honestly sat for the longest time trying to figure out how I would start this entry.

Truth is…

I really just want to say that I have reached a new height. I won’t call it a low because I feel elevated. I’ve found that I prefer to remain single while focusing on myself and being a bomb ass mom. I realize I possess far too many GREAT qualities to settle for anything below my expectations.

As hard as life was for me the entire year of 2017 (excluding my daughter’s birth and Elijah turning two years old) I pushed through. My tolerance for mediocre living left completely the day I left that front porch almost one year ago.

What I am noticing a lot is that so many people speak their ending and feel no work has to be done in between. I found new appreciation from what I’ve been exposed to. I know what working all day/night with minimum sleep looks like so the typical 8-5 living doesn’t strike my fancy. Sleep is 4 suckers, right?

I realize that no one is going to make sure my babies are straight but me. I’ve always been the queen of making things happen for myself so a couple of kids shouldn’t be so hard, right? Wrong. My kids must always live better than me. That’s my motive. That sounds like hard work, long hours, and big dreams. I want them to have what I feel they deserve-which is everything. Yes, I’m very biased in regards to my babies.

I will be 30 in seven weeks. I realize that for the past four years, I’ve cared for others’ feelings over my own. Now, I desire to care for those who care for me… Worry about those who worry about me…Love those who love me… support those who support me.

I spend my days building people up, encouraging them to take new leaps, or just take their eyes and ears off of “the norm” surrrounding them and do what makes them content in these last days (have that baby, buy that house, tell your crush how you really feel). Honestly, I’ve been afraid to do that for myself. I always have to live to a certain standard. I have to act this way. I have to do this, this way. I can’t do this because people will think that.

With all due respect, to hell with all that. I’ve missed me for a very long time. I was loved the hardest while I was ” just me”. I’ve always held the same characteristics and loving heart but I am more than ready to get back to enjoying my life with any criticism that comes along with it.

I’ve been the happiest I have been in years and I don’t plan to move backwards-ever. I’ve recently started my own challenge where I rejuvenate my mind, body, and soul: #LALifestyle. I want the best for me but I realize I will never live out my full potential as long as I’m in a box that society has created. I’m a beautiful,vivacious, independent, artistic, educated woman who is even more bomb because my body has carried and birthed life. Mommies rock and I don’t a give a damn who’s hating. Motherhood is the hardest yet the most rewarding thing in this world.

Embrace who you are! Be better than bare minimum! Be who God created you to be! Be bold! Push the envelope! Break away from needing someone! Be Independent! Work hard, rest, THEN work some more! Make your dreams your reality! Stop comparing your relationship, your hair, your facial features, your body structure, your career, your education level, and/or your situation to the next person’s! They have secret problems you don’t want to deal with, trust me! Forget what anyone THINKS about you and yours; KNOW what you KNOW! You’re better than anyone’s negativity towards you… So embrace every facet of your being!

You’re worth it.

Until Next Time…

-Alex