Many of us can answer a million questions with just those words. Most of us can recollect a time or two where we have done things that can only be explained with, “Because, I loved him/her.”
I never took a second to really think about my situation beyond the facts. I’ve been spending my time only in areas that could only be proven. I’ve been so focused on making sure people see that I’m being truthful in my words and that I have nothing to hide, that I just completely disregarded the feeling that always put me in that position. It wasn’t just disobedience to God’s word. It wasn’t just ignorance and being naïve. It wasn’t just being blind and couldn’t see the truth.
It was because I loved him…
Through every disappointment, I loved him. Through every lie, I loved him. Through the hurt and every tear, I loved him. I loved him even more because his seed was planted in my womb and it gave life. I loved him because he knew just how to kiss me and make time stop. I loved him because he knew how to hold me just right and calm me down when I was mad at the world. I loved him because I could see his broken wings and I wanted to help him fly. I loved him because I knew he needed it. I loved him because I couldn’t hate him.
Recent events, have made me answer the question to the “why” that I’ve been asked. Why did I keep going back? Why did I believe he had changed? Why did I believe the things he told me? Why did I not go to other sources for information? Why did I put his wants above my own?
It was because I loved him…
However, it’s clear to me that I loved him more than I loved myself. Now, that I am allowing Christ to live in and through me, I love me more than ever. I can see my destiny. My happily ever after is already written. I am walking in my purpose. I will no longer compromise my body or my spirit to the flesh in order to feel the love of a man. In the end, loving him helped me realize that it was time for me to love me more.
“Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor what is evil; cleave to what is good.” Romans 12:9
Until Next Time…
-Alex
