Last night, my random bible stop led me to the Book of Isaiah, chapter 59. As I read on and on through multiple chapters, I kept stopping, looking up, and saying “Wow”.. It was so good to my soul.

Honestly, I’ve still been trying to be ok with the actions of what has happened to me and my children. God knows I need some reiterating of what’s to come. I need to be reassured daily that it doesn’t just end here. The person who did this to me does not get to secretly say ‘sorry’ and that’s it. It’s done. It’s over. The end.

As I flipped over to the book of Proverbs, I got the reassurance I needed to get me through another day. I plan to stay here until I finish it entirely.

“Whoever rewards evil for good, evil will not depart from his house.” Proverbs 17:3

“He who justifies the wicked, and he who condemns the just, both of them alike are an abomination to the Lord.” Proverbs 17:15

“A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who speaks lies shall perish.” Proverbs 19:9

These verses are ones that have confirmed that any and everyone involved in doing anything but what Jesus would do in attempts to cover the soul (justify their behavior) who deceived me, brought forth evil, and intentionally left my children fatherless will be dealt with accordingly- whether it be mother, father, sister, brother, wife, etc..

The word of God DOES NOT lie.

Over the past 6 weeks, I have been getting numerous private messages from ladies going through situations similiar to mine that have been dealing with this in secret. I’m all too familiar with that role because I was the same way when I was pregnant with my son. People assume that you are quiet about the father of your child because you either:

1. Don’t know who the father of your child is…
2. You KNEW he was in a relationship so now you are ashamed.

This is completely untrue. I know this because I knew exactly who the father of my child was and I had ZERO acknowledgement that he had a relationship, let alone- a wife.

 I was quiet out of embarrassment of being so naive that I believed everything this man said. I was quite because after the fact of the lie, I believed more lies that kept me quiet. He told me everything I needed to hear for 9 months. His Motive: Keep her quiet and hidden until she has the baby, deny the baby when she “comes out of nowhere” with allegations that we slept together ‘that one time’ way back 9 months ago when I “fell short” and “slipped up”, act suprised when I find out that the child I KNOW IS MINE is indeed mine, make amends with everyone, say sorry and ask for forgiveness in private, and everyone move on.

Does this kind of individual sound familiar to any of you? This is what we call a master manipulator, if you’ve never had the pleasure to encounter one. < That’s sarcasm. Don’t try to play with these people. It takes skill to beat them at their own game.

To the ladies going through anything that even sounds like this: I’m sorry.

Here’s my advice…

• Don’t allow another day to go by where you aren’t putting your foot down and demanding what your deserve!
• Do not compromise for any man who IS NOT your husband. Not friendships, not jobs, not virginity/celibacy, not girl’s night out, not quality time with your family- NOTHING.
• Do not accept words as collateral. They need to show and prove. Hold off on moving forward if your intuition tells you otherwise. Check the source.
• Please, Please, Please start respecting who and who’s you are. You are a Queen. You are the daughter of the King of ALL kings. Know your worth. An authentic King will treat you accordingly with adding to you and taking away none of your goodness.
• Read your bible and pray. If you don’t know how, start small with “God, I love you and I trust you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.” It doesn’t take much. I started in that very spot seven years ago.
• Do not make decisions based off the other person’s well-being (keeping quiet until they get “things in order” or “things calm down”). If they have proven themselves to be a liar, don’t believe anything that sounds like a break-up is coming and/or a relationship with you is in your future. And if you knowingly know he’s currently lying to her, he will most definitely lie to you.

You will get through this. Put God, yourself, and your child(ren) first. Everything else will fall into place.

Until Next Time…

-Alex