How did I get here? It’s simple. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He wanted the security that came his wife and he wanted the thrill that came with his girlfriend. He wanted two different lives, so he created them.
At some point in time, he wanted to be someone other than who he truly was. He wanted to live a life other than the one he had. He met a woman who managed to bundle hard-work, independence, ambition, the love of Christ, and beauty into one package. She loved adventure. She was fun. She balanced being carefree and responsible. Was she flawed? Absolutely.
However, here stood a man who wanted out of reality. He walked around without a wedding band on his ring finger. He had gotten to a point to where he left out the mere fact of there being a woman who shared his bed every night, that very woman shared his last name, that very woman shared his children, and that very woman he laid eyes on… EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
The only common truth in the matter is one thing: He wasn’t happy… and unhappy people are dangerous people.
Here, was a man who lied about his marital status THREE completely different times (down to the point where fake finalized divorce papers had been generated). Maybe the impending/finalization of the divorce he WAS NOT going through was just a figment of his imagination. Maybe he was so far into a fantasy world that he truly thought that it was happening.
-OR-
Just maybe, he secretly wanted to be divorced so bad, that he lived it. He lived a life other than his reality not thinking or caring about the consequences. Not knowing what would happen next.
-OR-
Maybe he just figured, “Ah, What the hell. Might as well play a little more. My wife will not only believe what I tell her, but she will take me back anyway.”
Lucky for him, I was prayerful and I was kept by God’s word. Lucky for him, God has kept me with peace and with a sound mind. Lucky for him, his seeds implanted in my womb and gave me the one very thing that I didn’t have that I was trusting God for- My babies. If I didn’t have them, I would feel as if I had absolutely nothing to lose and life for him at this very moment wouldn’t be the same.
Jesus + My children= Sanity for me.
Sanity for me= Luck for him.
Until Next time…
-Alex
