I’ve made a decision.
After a tearful conversation with someone who is the very person I can never trust with my heart again, yet I trust with my life (Sounds crazy. But you will understand in my next book)…The very person I’m dedicating my next book to, the very person who is always in my corner when I reach out but has no problem calling me out on my shit. The very person that if I call and say pull up and bring your gun, will immediately ask me to send the location- no details needed…
I’ve decided it’s time to detox.
Hurtfully, I could verbally express how much baggage I was carrying. I could verbally express how much weight I had on my shoulders. I could verbally express why I do the things I do in loving kindness for others. I could verbally express how I’m just tired of it here because it seems I’m just meant to be a soldier in this world because I always have to battle something. Where is my normalcy? Where is my calm? Where is the good heart that matches mine?
I was asked by this person who holds me accountable, “What’s the common denominator in you and these people you entertain?”
It’s me.
I was told that I’m simply entertaining the “wrong” people. I was told it’s time to chill and let GOD. I was told that I have a cycle of setting myself back. The “I’m tired of it here.” statement disturbed this person. It screamed concern. This person couldn’t shake me physically but they shook me verbally. I was reminded that this world is indeed an evil place and that I know my Bible well enough to know that this is how it is intended to be in the Book of Revelation.
I was reminded that I haven’t been given a normal life because I’m not meant to be normal. And that where I’m meant to go I have to go through what Im going through. And that where I’m going, I’ll be prepared when I get there. And most importantly, I’ll understand why I’ve gone through what I’ve gone through once I have arrived at my destination.
I had a tough January starting with January 1st. It just became more challenging from there. Every single day was a battle of some sort, either mentally or emotionally. I battled spiritually the entire month. I was praying harder than ever.
Last night on January 31, 2020, I made the decision to delete my Facebook, Messenger, Instagram, and Snapchat. I decided to go into February as if it’s my new year. I decided I’m going to give myself a better life. I decided I’m going to renew my mind, my body, and my spirit all at once. For the first time, I decided to cut off the world’s easy access to me. I have to. I have a book to write and release this year. I decided I need separation for this next level of my life. Distractions are no longer allowed.
For years I’ve felt there is a target on my back, because I AM all the things that GOD says I AM. I AM GREAT. I have to stay shielded and under protection at all times. The devil doesn’t like me. And that’s okay.
Moving forward, I have to maneuver differently than I have been. I have too much to lose. I have to walk in the ways GOD desires me to walk in order to truly be happy, protect my children, and reach my destiny.
On top of that…
I’ve realized that I break my own heart. Now, it’s time I protect it. Now, it’s time that I protect my peace. Now, it’s time that I protect my body. Most importantly, it’s time that I protect my spirit because with this, I protect my gift. By protecting my gift, I protect my power. 
I’m starting over.
Until Next Time…
-L.A. The Great
