To the step-mother of my children:

I figured we would have spoken again by now, given the situation of learning of each other AGAIN. But since you seem to have gotten all of the information you need from the father of our children, I will just speak openly in hopes that you’d someday read this.

Let’s start from day one, Nov. 15, 2014: Your husband introduced himself to me as a single man. Our son was conceived before I even knew you existed. From the day we met, he had two options: 1. tell the truth and go home to you and live happily ever after. 2. Lie about being single to play. He chose option #2.

One of the hardest things for me this go-around, was being okay with being embarrassed for the foolish decisions I made when it came to him. In order for me to tell our full story, I knew I was going to have to just look stupid. Let’s admit, I was pretty foolish to believe the man was getting a divorce the second and third time with no hard evidence up front. I blame myself for that part in the matter.

I want you to sincerely believe that I am happy with you taking a stand for your marriage and staying with your husband. I want you to know that you two are the best fit for each other given all the variables in the situation. He knows that I would NEVER accept half of the things that come with him. After the first time he stepped out, we’d have to seek help, marriage counseling, and other resources needed to decide if we both want to continue on with our marriage. But see, he really needs you. He currently needs someone who will accept what he brings to the table, whether it be the very minimum of just coming home to you most nights.

When I met your husband, I was a beautiful, driven, independent, God-fearing, 26-year old woman who managed 17 associates in a successful, corporate retailer. Just like now, I didn’t need him or his presence. Typically, a guy like him wouldn’t be my type, but I was vulnerable due to just coming out of my own marriage at the time. He lied, charmed, and slithered his way right into my life.

Over the course of all this time, you and I have conversed only three times. With only meeting in person 5 weeks ago when I knocked on your front door to find out the truth since he doesn’t have it in him. I’m sure that was intentional being that majority of the time, he was lying to us both. He made sure to go out of his way to keep his secret. It’s so ironic that I’ve never lied to you and he’s done nothing but lie to you about me.

Although he has told me that he hasn’t denied our daughter to you and his family, I now know better than to believe anything he says that doesn’t benefit him. I don’t want you to base your reason for sticking around on whether or not our daughter is his because it will only end up in your disappointment. He knows she was conceived on November 28, 2016. Check your calendar and add up to my baby girl’s due date (She’s due August 21, 2017). He was off on Mondays, right? (Of course, I have text messages to back my claim being that I obviously don’t delete anything) You see, you were just as much the other woman to me over these past 2+ years because he has never claimed your relationship to me. I showed you the picture of the fake divorce papers he sent me with your names on it while I was at your house.

The only thing that I could ask from the woman married to the father of my children is for you to truly help him become a better man after this. If not for you, for ALL of his children. My publicized blog is not to try to embarrass him, you, or anyone else, but to motivate him to grow up. Helping him sweep his discretions under the rug once again DOES NOT help him become a better man. He will only go out and cheat, lie, and betray again. My daughter will be his third child outside of his marriage due to his lies and deceit. You don’t deserve that. If no one else has told you, I just did. I wouldn’t want my daughter going through what either of us have had to endure with this man.

Recap: I was the one who told you about Elijah six days before he was born and ended up finding out you two were not getting a divorce. His mother was the one who told me you two were still married July 4^th and disclosed that he was indeed the biological father of his 5 year old, and I was the one who knocked on your door seeking the truth this last time and informing you of our child on the way, who was planned. All of these encounters always started with his suspicious actions and the result being me throwing him a curve ball he didn’t see coming.

Help him.

Until we meet again…

-Alex