Don’t you just hate it when you didn’t learn about that “other” woman until you learned her marital status?
I did.
I thought “Well damn. You don’t like her that much, huh?!” Love her, maybe.
The worst part about my hishap was not learning the truth, because I could have gotten that from anybody. The worst part was that the person I could have bet my last dollar on to tell me the truth (him), didn’t tell me.
But why didn’t I hear it?
Was he scared? I doubt it…
So what was it?
I ponder on…
How do you tell this beautiful, optimistic, pregnant, vivacious, 26 year old that she will have to do life alone with your seed in her belly due to your lies? How do you tell this woman that you made a mistake and that the life that you left out of the picture was your reality? How do you tell her?
Some days I thank God for me not knowing the truth until six days before the childbirth of my first child.. How could I have handled that? I think of how stressed out I would have been. I think of all the days and nights during pregnancy I would have not eaten, gotten any sleep, or just had the will to get up and do LIFE.
Sounds like major D.E.P.R.E.S.S.I.O.N.
However…
Everyday I got up. Everyday I got dressed, I went to work, I laughed, I exceeded in my managerial work duties, then simply went home.
…Then everyday I waited for his call. I looked over the day to see how many texts and calls I received from the father of my child. It was minimum but he was “busy”. Little did I know, there’s not that much busy in the world. We make time for the things we care about.
Years later, am I completely over it? NO. Does it still make me feel some kind of way? Sometimes. Do I have peace about it? Everyday.
I now understand that not one mistake has been made on my journey. I’m grateful that my heart is still working and loving, that my vision has gotten broader, that my reach has gotten farther, and that my dreams I can now touch.
Turn your trials into triumphs. There’s a blessing in every lesson and you better use it. If you quiet down the voices around you, you will be able to hear.
Until Next Time…
-Alex
